Confessions of a reluctant complementarian

I was an undergraduate at Cambridge when I first encountered Ephesians 5:22. I’d come from an academically driven, equality-oriented, single-sex high-school; I was now studying in a majority-male college; and I was repulsed. “Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord.” You’ve got to be kidding me. I had three major problems with this verse: Problem 1: The first was that wives should submit. I knew women were just as competent as men – often more so. If there was wisdom in asymmetrical decision-making in marriage, surely it should depend on who was more competent in that area: sometimes the husband, sometimes the wife! Problem 2: The second was the idea that wives should submit to

5 reasons why I don’t always sit with my husband in church.

“Are you and Bryan OK?” asked a friend. “Yes, why?” “I noticed you weren’t sitting together in church.” I’ve answered this question multiple times over the years. The more I’ve pondered, the more I’ve become convinced it’s a question I want to keep getting. Here’s why: 1. Outsiders shouldn’t be outsiders A year ago, I happened to look behind me during the singing at the start of the service. I noticed a woman standing at the back of the church. She was probably in her late twenties. She stood there, hesitantly, looking for a place to sit. Our first service is mostly composed of families. She was alone. Our church is majority white. She was black. Many of us have been here for ye

50 Shades of Love

As the third installment of the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy hits the screens, I wanted to share a little poem I wrote when the first film was released. Though they market 50 hues Of that monochrome, Abuse, Study Love and you will find Love is patient, Love is kind, Love won't envy, boast, or bait, Love does not manipulate. Love won't push you into bed, Assault your mind, mess with your head. Love will treat you with respect, Cherish, honor, care, protect, Not delight in your disgrace But give His life up in your place. Feeling wanted may entice But Love is seen in sacrifice. So don't be fooled by Christian Grey When Christian Love wants you. Today.